My song “Titanic” keeps finding new audiences! It was recently added to the playlists of three other comedy radio shows: Ben’s Wacky Radio, I Still Get Demented, and A-Log on the Airwaves (where it ranked at #5 for the week)! A big thanks to these shows for helping me spread the comedy love! To hear these shows, view their playlists, and make a request to them (!), visit the “Titanic” watch page at madmusic.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=48136
Thank you!
Your votes helped make “Titanic” the #10 song for the month of April on “The Dr. Demento Show”! Thanks for enjoying the song. Keep those requests coming in at drdemento.com. Maybe the song will rise to #1 in May! (The Titanic shall rise! Ha.)
Titanic
Ryan Hopak and the Happy Chinchillas featuring Dana Shaw
“Titanic”
A parody of “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette
New lyrics by Ryan Hopak
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Titanic lyrics:
My first time taking a cruise
I was so jittery, I puked on my shoes
When the mop guy came to swab the deck
I asked “Is this boat safe?” and he replied “Heck…
This is the Titanic. It won’t sink”
So I played lots of shuffleboard
And I pigged out on the free smorgasbord
I was nervous once, but I wasn’t no more
Some kid even drew me naked
Standing on the bow to pretend to fly
I held my arms out, and then I closed my eyes
I opened my eyes back up and saw a fright
And as the boat sped up I said “Hey, isn’t that ice?”
But this is the Titanic. It won’t sink
Well we scraped a hole in our hull
And it scared the crap out of a seagull
And a chunk of ice fell and cracked my skull
Hey somebody call my lawyer
Well ice has a funny way
Of sinking your ship when you run right smack into it
That sucker just won’t budge
And ice has a funny way
Of keeping your drink cold on a hot summer’s day
So hey everyone, don’t hold a grudge
The water’s cold when we jumped in the drink
And parts of some guys really started to shrink
And my waterproof watch was really taking a beating
Was getting a cramp in my leg
‘Cause I didn’t wait a half hour after eating
And isn’t it ironic…don’t you think
Unsinkable Titanic…and yeah it really do sink
Well our swim to shore really started to blow
‘Cause we didn’t play any Marco Polo
When I made it home, I was swimmin’ in dough
I sold the rights to the movie
And yeah, ice has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Oh, ice has a funny, funny way of sinking you down
Credits
Song performers
Dana Shaw on lead vocals, backing vocals
Recorded at Ditch Road Records in Simi Valley, CA
Engineer: Ryan Canestro
Tribal Council
Ryan Hopak and the Happy Chinchillas featuring Timothy Mank
“Tribal Council”
A parody of “Smooth” by Santana featuring RobThomas
New lyrics by Ryan Hopak
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Tribal Council lyrics:
I’m a contestant
I’m on “Survivor” and I want to win
Out in the middle of nowhere
Hot humid air
It feels like a drought
I’m with some strangers
We’re out here facing all the dangers
But if I’m the complainer
I’ll get voted out
Like if I said
“This rice ain’t cooked enough,
I’m hot, I want to see my mom”
Then I’m toast
My tribe would get in a bad mood
And then I’m screwed
Cause they’d from an alliance to get rid of me
And I’d miss out on a million bucks in prize money
I only signed up for this to get on TV
Better clean up my act, make some friends
Or face the tribal council
I’ll tell you one thing
This castaway stuff is annoying me
I use a stick to brush my teeth
Wipe with a leaf
It smells like a zoo
People up to no good
This cranky old guy makes us gather wood
This other dumb guy eating bugs
Keeps mumbling “What would Gilligan do?”
I really hate this chick who talks a lot
She’s stuck up, and she will not do squat
But I’ll keep her ’round for one more week or two
‘Cause she’s so cute
And I just saw a fat guy walk around nude
And now he’s squatting by the ocean while he looks for food
He’s showing off his blubber–hey, man, that’s just rude
Now put on some pants, make it quick
Or face the tribal council
Welcome to your first tribal council everyone
Tim, so far you’ve been accused of stealing food,
instigating arguments and telling lies about other people
And that was just on the plane ride over
The tribe has spoken,
and the first person voted out of “Survivor” is…
Big shock. Tim
Now the whole country watched me lose on the show
And now I am not a millionaire, I’m just a joe
I guess I’ll go back to my job at Home Depot
And pose naked for magazines
Or you’ll forget about me
Or you’ll forget about me
No, oh, no, oh
Or you’ll forget about me
No, no, no, no
Let’s don’t forget about me
(Pose naked for magazines)
Or you’ll forget about me
Credits
Song performers
Timothy Mank on lead vocals, backing vocals
Dave Boone doing spoken word as Survivor host
Eric Porvaznik on conch shell
Janna Kay and Ryan Hopak doing tribal chant
Recorded at Track Record in North Hollywood, CA
Engineers: Rob Bosquez, Mike Hogue, Ryan Kennedy