My home is filled with the scent of cooked ham. I only wish I were cooking ham.
I love what they did with the movie “Noah,” but I really could have done without the Somali pirates.
I just experienced an earthquake so big, it actually cleaned up my house.
It’s sad, but during an earthquake while I was in bed this morning, I didn’t duck and cover — I ducked under the covers. It appears my earthquake plan is the same as my plan for monsters.
I’m celebrating Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday today by just sitting around and eating. I call it Fat Ash Wednesday.
I start a new job tomorrow. Good, because I need Post-Its.
I donated to the troops today. Well, Troop 47. OK, I bought Girl Scout Cookies.
“This week, Jay Leno is leaving late night. It’s also the beginning of the Winter Olympics. Two events that happen every four years.” — David Letterman
I’m ready for the big game this weekend. And by “big game,” I mean avoiding my landlord for the rent.
“We’ve got a blizzard. The driving conditions are going to be a nightmare, so be extra careful while texting.” — David Letterman