I think the bike rack on the front of a city bus should be called “the quitter’s bar.”
“I had an amazing week in my fantasy football pool. None of my players got arrested.” — Bill Maher
A TV show I helped produce “Let’s Ask America” is on the air. It’s an awesome game show where people play from home on Skype. Fun questions, fun players, fun host. New episodes are on in selected cities (visit letsaskamerica.tv to see if your city has been selected), and last year’s episodes air daily on GSN. Those of you who seek it out, enjoy!
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I think this ALS ice bucket challenge is just a really elaborate way to get me to take a shower.
“Hopak” was just added to the Scrabble dictionary as an acceptable word. I’m somebody! Actually, the definition is “a Ukranian dance.” So ladies, don’t misunderstand me when I invite you over to “do the hopak.”
And with the high-value H, P & K tiles, that bad boy is worth 14 points! You’re welcome, America.
I think I’m turning in to my mother. Last week I couldn’t remember the title “Guardians of the Galaxy” so I said, “I’m going to see Space Raccoons.”
“Batman turned 75 years old this week. He’s so old, now the only reason he wears a cape is because he’s chilly.” — David Letterman
Congratulations to my hero “Weird Al” Yankovic for the first #1 album of his career, possibly making this the best week of his life! In related news, I found two nickels in the parking lot.
I somehow managed to change my own windshield wiper blades. This is probably the wussiest manliest thing I’ve ever done.