Ryan Hopak and the Happy Chinchillas featuring Timothy Mank "Tribal Council" Parody of "Smooth" by Santana featuring Rob Thomas New lyrics by Ryan Hopak I'm a contestant I'm on Survivor and I want to win Out in the middle of nowhere Hot humid air It feels like a drought I'm with some strangers We're out here facing all the dangers But if I'm the complainer I'll get voted out Like if I said, "This rice ain't cooked enough, I'm hot, I want to see my mom" Then I'm toast My tribe would get in a bad mood And then I'm screwed Cause they'd form an alliance to get rid of me And I'd miss out on a million bucks in prize money I only signed up for this to get on TV (better) Clean up my act, make some friends Or face the tribal council I'll tell you one thing This castaway stuff is annoying me I use a stick to brush my teeth Wipe with a leaf It smells like a zoo People up to no good This cranky old guy makes us gather wood This other dumb guy eating bugs Keeps mumbling, "What would Gilligan do?" I really hate this chick who talks a lot She's stuck up, and she will not do squat But I'll keep her 'round for one more week or two Cause she's so cute And I just saw a fat guy walk around nude And now he's squatting by the ocean while he looks for food He's showing off his blubber--hey, man, that's just rude (now) Put on some pants, make it quick Or face the tribal council "Welcome to tribal council everyone. Tim, so far you've been accused of stealing food, instigating arguments and telling lies about other people. And that was just on the plane ride over. The tribe has spoken, and the first person voted out of Survivor is... Big shock. Tim." Now the whole country watched me lose on the show And now I am not a millionaire, I'm just a joe I guess I'll go back to my job at Home Depot (and) Pose naked for magazines Or you'll forget about me Don't forget to request Ryan on "Dr. Demento" or your local radio stations.